3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
