i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Randomize
