so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
He is an equal opportunity slut.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
