We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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