This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
