Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
