i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Randomize
