4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
