Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
