So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Randomize
