obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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