just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
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