why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
