Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
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