so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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