There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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