There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
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