if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Randomize
