therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
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