also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
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