Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
Sacagawea was the original milf.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
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