the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
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