"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
