I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
