If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
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