I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
I have all the porn. Be there soon
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