there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
