nut hugger
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
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