I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
Randomize
