I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
