just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
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