My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
It was confusing and full of hummus
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
Randomize
