found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
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