so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
He shit in the fireplace
Randomize
