i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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