Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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