Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
