lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
