When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
