I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
It's like God shit irony all over that family
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
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