he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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