So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
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