is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
