i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
you had me at cake vodka
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
