be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
