The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize
