I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
