I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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