i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
