I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Randomize
