So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Randomize
