1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
I think weed is turning my hair brown
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
