Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
