I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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