trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Randomize
