It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Randomize
