whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
I'm having to shit out rocks
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