from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
