just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Randomize
