as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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