If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Randomize
