WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Randomize
