Kiss
Puke
your room smells of hookers.
And success
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
