i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
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