do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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