Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
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