i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
Randomize