Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
