YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
Nicole vs. Life
I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
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