6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
