last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
