He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
